Little Jimmy was shouting out a prayer for his birthday. I’m at the age where I have to make a noise when I bend over. When you hit middle age, getting to second base is mainly just feeling each other for lumps. Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you. Gray and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you Middle age is when your old classmates are so Jamie Tighe age is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home by nine o’clock. Proving once again I’m no good at birthday gifts. Minor Irritation my co-worker the Heimlich maneuver. All my relatives keep reminding me how old I am. I’ve got everything I had 20 years ago, except now it’s all lower.Īge is a relative term. It’s easier to remember your age if you don’t change it every year The number one cause of death is too many birthdays. Sure, it makes things sag as you get older, but it also keeps your cake from flying all over the room so you don’t have to chase it. Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don’t really know.īirthdays are a great time to stop and appreciate gravity. The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills and wills. But now I am drunk and I’ve just eaten the cake.Ī friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. I wanted to make you a rum cake for your birthday. But mom and dad give me money to stop playing. The violin you gave me for my last birthday already brought me a lot of money. Your upcoming birthday reminds me of the words of the old Chinese scholar: Yung No Mo Honey, you really don’t have to do the dishes on your birthday. You know you are getting old when you start getting birthday cards from your orthopedist. Patient: Doctor, I get a strong stinging feeling in my eyes every time I eat a birthday cake.” Soon you can laugh, sneeze, cough and pee at the same time.įrom a certain age, birthdays are like a reverse countdown. Girlfriend: Well, you did tell me to surprise you. BIRTHDAY JOKESīoyfriend: How come you didn’t get me a present for my birthday?! Knock, knock.Want to spread happiness with some of the best Birthday Jokes, looking inside all of the birthday cards to find the right one, prefer to send an e-Card to your friend on his or her special day, or even like making your own, there are many different ways you can make a message that is just the right to wish well for your friend. Isabel who? Isabel working? I had to knock! Alpaca who? Alpaca the suitcase, you load the car! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana? Orange who? Orange you going to open the door? Doris who? Door is locked, that’s why I’m knocking! Nuisance who? What’s new since yesterday? This next one is for the grammar police, ha ha! Theodore who? Theodore is stuck and it won’t open! Justin who? Justin the neighborhood and thought I’d come over! (My almost 7 year old came up with this one, and he was so proud! Although I’m sure that someone somewhere has thought of this same idea.) Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don’t let me in! Stopwatch who? Stopwatch you’re doing and let me in! Mikey who? Mikey doesn’t fit in the key hole! Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s cold out here! Canoe who? Canoe come out and play with me? (The MOOO needs to be delivered while the other person is still asking big interrupting cow who – this is fun to watch kids try to get the timing right! 🙂 ) Cash who? No thanks, but I’ll take a peanut if you have one! A little old lady who? I didn’t know you could yodel! Amish who? Really? You don’t look like a shoe! Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to hear another joke? Who’s there? Broccoli? Broccoli who? Broccoli doesn’t have a last name, silly. Goliath who? Goliath down, you look-eth tired! You’ll also want to print these funny lunchbox joke cards. We love all kinds of jokes, so be sure to check out our hilarious jokes for kids. Yes, they’re corny and goofy, but kids LOVE them! And then of course then they have to make up their own – which make absolutely no sense at all! 🙂 I think knock, knock jokes are a childhood rite of passage. These jokes are clean and family friendly and will definitely get everyone laughing. Here are 40+ knock, knock jokes that kids will be sure to love!
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